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Why I chose my kids over my career: Surviving the #SAHWM schedule







For starters, before this becomes a Stay at home mom vs Working mom let me say that whichever role you choose, you are amazing. It takes discipline and courage to drop your kids off to a caregiver while you bust your butt making money to feed your family and making sure they have clothes on their backs and a roof over their heads. It also takes patience, selflessness and a WHOLE lot of coffee to be a stay at home mom. So what do they both have in common? PA R E N T H O O D. There’s no manual and one size fits all in being a parent. It’s whatever works for you, your family, and financial situation.

I decided LONG before my husband and I started having kids that I wanted to be with them every chance I get, and if I had to work, it will be in the evenings or nights. It was very important to me to see every milestone. I couldn’t see myself handing my kids over to someone who will influence them for the rest of their lives. Questions would flood my mind: Are they safe? Are they being comforted when they cry? What are they learning? How much are they eating and are they satisfied with how much milk I had dropped off with them? I would probably literally drive myself crazy.

How to make it happen

Once I graduated from the Radiology program, I did want to dedicate the first year diving in and learning as much as I can in my field, and excelling in other modalities. Once I learned CT and a had a firm grasp, I slowly made my way into learning Cath Lab but would deny any opportunity in working full-time. I knew with full-time, I would not have the luxury on staying home with my kids when that time came.

Make more bang for your buck

Make more money and work less? Yes! It’s easier than you think. I left the hospital, and slowly got into travel work. I would work close to home, anything greater then 51 miles (the requirement) but under 55 miles to be in close proximity to drive home after every shift. People don’t realize the money in travel assignments and perks. Travel agencies give meal and daily travel stipends which are TAX FREE and not reported so you are not owing any of that at the end of the year. That money is yours to keep and stipends are at least $4,000 a month alone just sitting in your pocket. That’s if you stay in close distance from home. 

With travel you make double so you can work 6 months out of the year and take the other 6 months off or work a full year of travel and take a year off to be at home, the sky’s the limit. 

Find employers looking for short shift coverage

Finding per diem work at an Urgent care or medical group for those working in the medical field, or a college if working administration or business management. This allows either day coverage or evenings because these businesses usually open early and close later in the evening. You also have customer service jobs like a clothing store that does 4 hour closing shifts. Big stores like Target or Walmart hires overnight stock workers all the time, especially during the holidays. There are so many “work in the evening or night” jobs out there. You just have to know where to look. Indeed.com is amazing at finding jobs specifically for your liking. That’s the only job search platform I use and it’s worked wonders for me the last 6 years.

I passed many great opportunities to work fulltime in Interventional Radiology or to continue Computed Tomography, but I knew my priority was going to be a mom one day. Kids grow up so fast, so what’s 5-6 years of working part time and loosing out on those opportunities to dedicate and invest in my children? Once they are in school, that’s the perfect time to go back to full time or even better: run my own business. I really am looking to not trade my time (hourly) for money anymore and make passive, multi stream incomes. I always felt there were bigger and better things out there for me, and my work experience for the last 16 years has geared me to do just that. 

Wait, but what about my 401(k)

Another big question and concern that prevents moms from leaving their full time jobs and going part time or starting there own business is: What about my 401k or retirement plan? My answer is: move it! Retirement plans can be transferred. You may not be able to take your employer’s match amount, but you can open an IRA at your bank or credit union, and transfer your retirement into that. Meet with a financial investor and get all the details so you know the steps and how to take it out correctly so you are not hit with a big tax owed at the end of the year. That way you are totally prepared and can set up a comfortable monthly withdrawal amount.

Save, Save, Save!

By having extra money in your savings account, it will be easier to make that move and be confident about it.

Live within your means

You won’t be able to shop, travel, or splurge on that big house you wanted. Instead of thinking big, I decided to plan small and get things that worked best for my family and I. Instead of building a massive house that had way to much square footage for a family of three (at the time) we decided to build small but in a great neighborhood with plenty of land for the kids to play in.

Tips for juggling the momma drama at home:

-Sleep when baby sleeps (If you have two kiddos at home this does not apply. It’s impossible)
- Stick with a consistent night time routine
- With night feedings and diaper changes, don’t even think about turning the light on. A night light is your best friend. Once that light comes on, your baby is up and good luck trying to get them back to sleep. I read this months before I had my first, and thank God I never witnessed a 1-6am alert baby who wants to play. 
-Always keep notes of babies feeding times and make a schedule out of it.
-If you nurse or pump, stay hydrated. 60-80 oz of water is plenty and your supply will stay consistent.
-Keep visitors away in the first few weeks after bringing baby home. You are exhausted, baby, and the rest of the family are learning to adjust. You don’t want added pressure, trying to make everyone presentable and preparing meals for guests. At that time you probably rather walk around naked and your hair a tangled mess, (just being honest.)
- Don’t overdue it. To many of these moms want to hit the ground running and take their baby everywhere every chance they get. Leave the IG posts alone and stay at home and rest. I admit after I had my first, it took me months to finally make it to church. I took it easy, never felt like I had to rush, and streamed service from home. I honestly felt that that really helped in preventing any post-partum depression. What I think people who do suffer from that, is lack of sleep and in return, they feel overwhelmed. 

I hope this helps! What tips do you think helped you and what would you add to the list? Feel free to DM on IG at DSTFITMOM or email: thomas.demetria@gmail.com

Signed,

A tired fit mom :)



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